Part Six
Greta Kaçinari: When the war began, when the first bombings began… that was a very difficult time period. We were three people, so Gjergj, Klorinda and I, the three of us. And our neighbors came knocking on our door and said, “We’re leaving. Come with us.” The reason we didn’t flee was our daughter. Why? She said, “Mom, we’re three people, they’re all five or ten people.” So, big families in other words. “We’re three people, we’re not leaving. We’re not going anywhere.” And that was the reason we remained [here]. So, she was right because someone had to sacrifice in a way.
But, when the bombings began, she came from her bedroom to our bed and got between us. Not the best moments, difficult. So, during this time period, during this bloody part, we stayed in Pristina. Actually, at the time my ulcer perforated and I had to undergo surgery at the hospital. But, I can’t not mention that the medical staff, the technical staff, the nurses showed exceptional care and I am alive today.
Anita Susuri: Were they Serbian?
Greta Kaçinari: All of them were Serbian. And I will never forget that, because in… another interesting thing with this time period, before I underwent surgery, they appointed someone else to operate on me, not the doctor I wanted, who was a Bosnian from Montenegro and he was popular at that time. But they said, “In order to get him, you have to give a hundred,” what was it [the currency] back then? What did we use? Not euros bur, “You have to give him a hundred marka,” I told them, “I don’t want to give them even one dinar. Never to anyone, not only him.”
And I insisted that it must be him and a new doctor came in and saw me crying and concerned and said, “What’s wrong?” He spoke in Serbian. U said, “They’re forcing me into surgery,” he said, “Nobody will force you into surgery.” And he took me to my room. Until they didn’t allow the doctor I asked for. And then he operated on me. And thanks to him I am still alive here today.
That doctor was forced to leave the hospital later because that was the deal, our people took over it. I don’t agree with stuff like that. These people are valuable, leave them there. And I went for a follow-up check and the doctor who operated on me was there, there were new doctors there too who were Albanian. And I told them, “Thanks to him I am alive today. Learn from him as much as you can.” And of course I will thank that doctor once again. I feel sorry but I would send him a whisky as a thank you, but I didn’t get to do that because…
But what I experienced later, last year at the hospital, it’s two different worlds. They’re two different worlds of people who are responsible and respect work, respect their system and make these attempts. I am sorry to say this because during three months of last year, only my soul knows what I have been through. Not personally, but for my husband Gjergj. And I hope that new generations will understand this, the street at QKUK… which was named the Hipokrat [Hippocrates] street, would really be a street of Hippocrates, and for that to be a place where they really uphold the Hippocratic oath. Not turn A into an I [turn Hippocrates into Hypocrite in Albanian].
Anita Susuri: We were talking about wartime, you said you were in Pristina.
Greta Kaçinari: Yes.
Anita Susuri: What was Pristina like during the war?
Greta Kaçinari: Besides the time period I was in the hospital, I will go back to everyday life when we had to get different food supplies. He would say, because Gjergj was the one who got the supplies, he used to say that at the market, at the green market, not the green market but the one that’s in front of Post [Building].
Anita Susuri: Ulpiana’s Market.
Greta Kaçinari: Ulpiana’s Market, there were all kinds of clothes there, brides’ paje for sale. Imagine, so everything that was stolen in different houses. And there was a family of seven that came here, they stayed for about a week until some man came and convinced them that they should leave and they left. This was around April, the end of April, before I was in the hospital. And Gjergj would get the supplies. When he came back home he used to tell me that he had to wait in line for bread, he had to wait here for something, and there for something.
And then there was something else, in different houses, in apartments, there were students who didn, they didn’t have food at that point. So in our neighborhood, we organized to collect bread and butter or whatever was in our homes and send it to them. Of course, we had to leave some for ourselves too. So, one day when Gjergj went to get groceries, the police took him, I was in the hospital at that time, the police took him and they kept him for five hours at a place, here, what is it called now…
Anita Susuri: Somewhere in Pristina?
Greta Kaçinari: Yes, there was a really infamous place in Pristina, like a prison, but near the school Naim Frashëri. And Gjergj told me, actually, Gjergj told me [about that] much later. But my daughter came to visit me the next day and I asked her, “Where is tota [dad]?” “Well his hands are hurting a lot,” “Why are his hands hurting?” “Mom, bre,” she said, “the police took him yesterday,” she said, “and he had to keep his hands like this all the time” {describes with her hands}. And she said, “He couldn’t come.” What do I know, he maybe had hand trauma holding them like that.
But, they didn’t torture him personally but it’s what he saw around him, others being tortured, people who were even younger and… everyone, young and old. “Do you want a cigarette?” The cop asked them, they said, “Yes bre,” “Oh you want a cigarette?” Bim, bim {onomatopoeia}. Gjergj was really distressed when he experienced all that. But my daughter told me that… Gjergj told me everything later, about everything he had experienced and seen. But they didn’t put their hands on him. They didn’t know anyone’s name but he was just lucky, he only had to keep his hands up.
And then my daughter told me, “Mom, you know, the police came inside,” they got into the apartment, “And?” She said, “They took the cigarettes, the cigarette packs.” We struggled to find cigarettes, wherever they were. They took the cigarettes and ten euros, ten marka, they were on the table. I don’t know why [they were there]. I had to give it to someone, or someone to us, I don’t know. But, anyway. “And mom,” she said, “They got into my room and threw all my dolls on the floor.” And I started to cry, “Why the dolls?”
None of the dolls were Albanian, the Albanian dolls had Dalmatian clothing, Montenegrin clothing, with Croatian clothing, of all the possible places of former Yugoslavia, with traditional clothing from different places. They were very beautiful and we still have them. And they threw them… She told me everything about dad and I started crying about the dolls. Of course, it wasn’t for the dolls but for the whole situation. What’s important is that the power was on and whatever happened and we put chopped bread in the freezer, in case we have no food so we have that. Like that, I don’t know. Our family was exceptionally lucky because, simply, I don’t know.
Edhe dy-tre ditë para se kam dalë prej spitalit diku kah fundi i majit, jo besa në qershor, kjo ka qenë në qershor, me 4 qershor, se tash data është atje 4. Erdhën dy policë në banesë te ne edhe fillun regjistrimin në kartela të kaltërta, domethanë emrin, mbiemrin, letërnjoftimi, e tjera, e tjera, të dhënat për të tre ne. Dhe gjysmën e morën për vete, dhe gjysmën na lanë neve. Këto kartela i kam ende edhe sot se janë dëshmi të një kohe të pa kohë. Dhe se tregojnë edhe diçka tjetër që neve kanë qenë si, në kohën e nacizmit kur hebrenjëve iu kanë dhanë auswise [German: Identification card] që të dalin prej vendit ku jetojnë po ato kartela edhe pa shenjat nuk kanë mujtë të dalin prej vendi. Në të vërtetë ata s’kanë dalë kurrë, por i kanë çu nëpër llogore për Auschwitz e tjera.
And two or three days before I left the hospital, sometime around the end of May, no actually in June, that was in June, June 4, that was the date. Two cops came to our apartments and they started to hand out the Blue Cards registration, so the name, last name, ID, etc., etc., information about the three of us. And they took half of it with them, half of it was left to us. I still have these cards because they’re proof of troubled times. And they show something else that for us it was like the time of Nazism when Jews were given auswise [Ger.: ID documents] in order to travel outside the country where they lived, without those cards and the stamp, they couldn’t leave the country. Actually, they never left, but they took them in those trenches for Auschwitz and other [camps].
So to me, these are testimonies of a troubled time, like ausweis of Kosovo. They were given by a state, a mindless state based on occupation, a hatred for expanding and blaming others for what they were doing, just like they did in Bosnia, here as well. I don’t know, we survived, we remained alive and… I want to emphasize something too. Every evening at 6:00 my daughter and I went to the church of St. Anthony, the small church in Ulpiana [neighborhood]. Maybe not every night but every time we could go, we went, and there were five or six people. So, a really small number of people who remained in Pristina.
When I asked the priest at the time, “Why aren’t you leaving?” He said, “Until there is even a single one of you remaining, I will stay here with you.” And… then there was another thing with the neighbors whom we didn’t know, but who we started to get ot know, not [talking] about this neighborhood {describes with hands} we all know each other here, but the one up there {describes with hands} which is a little larger, at Ismail Qemajli Elementary School, it’s a very large neighborhood, but we started to get to know them. So when it was Easter, imagine, [it was time] to paint eggs, what do we paint them with? Where to find paint? And I found a single color and the new neighbors we met came to ours for the holiday and we had the painted eggs and this was all during the bombings time period.
I remember another foolery I did because there were three suitcases with clothes ready. A person doesn’t take anything with them. So, it’s foolish to tie yourself to material things when life is in question. But, I think that photographs must be kept and possibly a special writing which has something to do with a special document of a specific time. These are the beautiful things. And, do I continue about the school later?
Anita Susuri: Continue, yes.
Greta Kaçinari: Back then, Jews were the first to come, pardon, the first to come was an Italian organization, from Chiesa, who came to school. And they brought a lot of school supplies and we used that supply for about five years. There was that much, and it was really, really good. Later on they helped us with computers. The main computer for the teacher and how to teach others. The thing was to help the teachers in that aspect so they can start learning to work with computers. And foolish Albanians stole those computers, that’s it. And then CDF helped us with the sports hall. These are all…
I don’t know, I was wrong to mention names because it was such a big number of organizations that helped and I only want to thank God and my father who didn’t let me go and study in Zagreb, but I graduated in English instead and I was able to directly communicate with people. When the Jew people came to the door, they saw the Elena Gjika school facility was beautiful, and it’s the most beautiful school in the city because it belongs to an old time period of buildings and I fought for it to be protected as an old object. And it was approved by the municipality. And then, the Jews plastered the walls outside, temperatures dropped under -20 [degrees celsius].
It was a beautiful time period which fulfills your soul, it fulfills your mind and doesn’t let you think about anything else. Only sleep for two or three hours and then you had to go on with everything that was happening. It was a great miracle. And then, there were some programs that began when UNMIK arrived. Hare, the professors of our school were really smart people who understood that the very first set of trainings was very valuable because there were specialists from different fields.
I remember being in the critical thinking training, I said back then, “Well then from Rugova and everyone else should go to the critical thinking [training].” Because we Albanians lack critical thinking. We simply lack it. And later on, everyone who got their foundation of that training, kept going on other training and many of them became trainers themselves. Some of them became school principals. I wanted to say it’s a really good thing even in relation to the school. I remember in a meeting there was a representative of the Ministry of Education back in UNMIK’s time, when they gathered all the principals of elementary and high schools.
We were all at the Assembly. Now imagine how many [people] were in the assembly, there was a special hall with tiered seating, we were there. A large number [of people]. And he said… I forgot to also mention what happened in my school. Pre-school classes were opened for the first time. There were preschool classes only in a state-administered institution. Parents would take their children for a one-day stay or what do I know, and that was close to the school. Whereas the first preschool as a class was in our school. And the opening of these classes is a story on its own, totally on its own.
And I don’t know if I should explain how everything went, how the teachers who were interested to work came, how I told them, “I don’t know anything about preschool. If you do, write everything you need on a piece of paper.” And some Slovenians came, for school furniture and I told them, “I have these two rooms, but I don’t know what I need in them.” They sent the sketches for what was needed there from Slovenia, from Ljubljana.
After that, Austria’s Caritas came and all of this happened in my school. I don’t know how, people simply used to come. And they asked me, “What do you need?” and I told them, “I need this,” {describes with hands}. And they brought chairs, lockers, and small desks for small children. Those two rooms had everything according to what the Slovenians sent. Everything was paid by others, of course. And, I could talk about the school for a year and I don’t know if it would be enough.
So, I began with these changes immediately at the beginning of 2000 and in 2001 I traveled to Bosnia for the first time, with the signing of Kouchner who was an administrator at the time. I crossed Montenegro with his signature, I passed in Sarajevo, I don’t know, I traveled for 24 hours. They asked me in Montenegro, “What is this?” Well, “Nikad video ovo” I’ve never seen something like this. I said, “Well I was given this” (laughs). And that was the first time I traveled outside Kosovo, I mean after ten years and I met my mother and my two brothers. With one of them, for the last time, for the first and last time. Because later, after two or three years, he died.
And…I stayed there for one month, without asking anybody at all. Not even… do you [want to] know how that month passed? I totally returned to childhood. I didn’t even mention war or anything, nothing about what I had gone through, neither did I ask them what they went through, nor did they ask me. In the evening when they came back from the store we played cards, watched movies, and sang. When they weren’t at the apartment with our mother, she used to play pasians [solitaire], she used to throw the cards, a super fun game.
A person could play it alone but there is also a kibicer, the one who observes, you know, and he could react. So Gjergj and I used to play this game, we used to fight and make up. It’s a really good game, but not in two but in single player. Until my brother told me, “Sister, do you have to go back to work?” I told him, “Yes, I should have a while ago,” “Do you want to go visit baca’s grave?” “Yes.” After a month. And that’s when I went to his grave and lit a candle, I spoke to him. I thanked him, I spoke to him and returned to Pristina.
The last look from the bus when I waved goodbye to two of my brothers, was the last look with the brother I saw for the first time after the war and that was the last. He then went to Opati, where he died. And then I got my mother here so I wouldn’t leave her alone because she was already sick. I didn’t want to leave her alone in Tuzla. So, my family is separated now. One was buried in Tuzla, my father, one in Opati, my brother, while my mother and younger brother were buried in Prizren. Both of them lived here with me and… actually my little brother came here when mother died and I didn’t let him go back.
And so life is interesting like that and whoever is left should only thank God for all the gifts. I thank him for all the gifts I have had in my life. And those gifts were exactly my parents who took care of me, my brothers who loved me. When they shared their property [among children], I didn’t even think about it. Actually, I had my own property here which my father helped me obtain at the beginning. They, everything was divided in three equal parts, imagine. So me as a sister, the two of them as brothers, my God. What a gift!
I only gave away a part of that there was nothing more. As much as I needed for this part to be finished because it’s an overbuild. It’s an overbuilding because it wasn’t possible to do a proper building, but we should have. Because everyone around did, so we did too, with columns. We built it with a bank loan my daughter took and a bit of inheritance that we had and like that. And for this life, believe me, when I open my eyes in the morning I thank God for today and for all the days I have lived through until today.
I only feel sorry that something was interrupted, it was interrupted unnaturally. I communicated with people a lot, and I regularly went to the cathedral… Uuu {onomatopoeia} I forgot to say something else. Until I was a headmaster of the school when they requested to apply once again, so, to apply for the headmaster and I applied the first time, there was no opponent and they called it off. The second time around there was an opponent…
The opponent was from a political party, I knew that he would win even though I submitted my documents because I had applied. On Christmas night I went and withdrew them, I said, “My documents,” “No, don’t, how, how are you withdrawing?” “Give me my documents.” That was the biggest [heart]break that happened in my life. My heart broke. I was left without the children, do you understand? Because I continued to work with children even later when I was a headmaster.
I had some groups who used to come and work in my office, they would come to boast, they would come to complain, they would come to meet other writers. But after two years of break I still had requests but through the phone, “Are you interested in being a translator at…?” Wait till I remember, now its name has changed. Alright, it has to do with the judiciary. And I went there, I met amazing people, and I learned about the judiciary. That old dream of mine to study law. I didn’t learn everything, but the basics and I met two judges who were amazing and a prosecutor who was even more amazing and so I learned a little about the judiciary.
And then EULEX announced a job opening. I applied there. I don’t know how I did it but I got accepted. I worked in the department of forensics. A very interesting field that is related more to emotions, meetings with people whose family members were missing, with the organization of mothers of Gjakova… let me not mention too many but everyone. But, my last job that I quit was at an organization, whose founding I initiated. It’s near the Catholic Church here in Ulpiana. Because when you become a certain age, then… you expect to reach a certain age, a later stage in life, not only mine. And I told a friend of mine, “You know what? Why don’t we form a women’s group and start meeting, maybe we can do something?” “Yes, very well.” And we also asked the priest what he thought about it, he really supported us.
And then we collaborated with the nuns of St. Cross, they are honorary nuns that work at the church, they don’t work, they live there and have the student’s dorm. And this is how the organization Ulrika was founded, now they are elderly women, so my age. The women who help them are a little younger and from the work they sell they buy flour, oil, and distribute it to poor families. These don’t, they don’t go public or… an appropriate humane act. Just like everyone should act.
They never go on TV to become public and say they did that, they helped them. And that’s real help because somewhere in the Bible it’s written, “What the right does… the left shouldn’t know what the left does.” But we are humans, sometimes we like to, just like I was boasting here with joy (laughs). No, I didn’t boast.
Anita Susuri: If there is anything else you’d like to add as a closer?
Greta Kaçinari: As a closer…
Anita Susuri: If you forgot to mention something or…
Greta Kaçinari: Do I invite you tomorrow? (laughs) No, I didn’t forget but I didn’t touch upon everything, of course. I didn’t touch upon the main thing which is my married life.
Anita Susuri: Yes.
Greta Kaçinari: How we got there wasn’t only the looking, love at first sight but it was also earlier planning of wishes. Since I was living in Bosnia, I wanted to marry an Albanian, I wanted to marry [someone] from Prizren so when we fight I wouldn’t have to curse their birthplace. I wanted him to be educated because there were a lot of men who asked for my hand [in marriage] and were silversmiths or craftsmen. And I wanted him to be educated. Actually one of them had insulted me, “Did you finish school at last?” He had insulted the school. So, all of these wishes were fulfilled because I wanted those things and that’s him, something that connects people.
And I will also say this, here in Letnica we had the last light, how do they say in Albanian? Dame biraju, the ladies choose [men] for dancing. And the first [best] dance has the reward of going to the wheat field, corn field, for five minutes because there in the village the houses were surrounded with fields. Ten minutes for the first place, I don’t know what the second one was. I remember the first because we won ten minutes. But I chose Gjergj for the dance. But later we kept dancing in groups, a hundred and something young people that were there, we continued in Prizren the following days and it was like that. That day there were many marriages of the people who have met for the first time, even if it was many times later.
What’s important is that when I said, when I started to think about Gjergj those days while we were in Letnicë. My father said, “Who is that young boy? I sort of like him.” “Hmmm {onomatopoeia} how did you know you liked him? How did you know?” (laughs). Exactly him. And it was like that. Besides these four wishes, life brings many other things. And what’s important is respect, and staying out of other people’s personal business. Because that really does cause problems and for the person to stick by their words till the end in good and bad. I tried to do that until the end and I managed to do it.
And what was shocking to me was when I went to the municipality [building] for some documents. I was told, “Ma’am now you are officially divorced.” “What? Who has the right to divorce me?” It was an impulsive reaction, so much that some men behind me were shocked too. “Who has the right to legally divorce me?” (laughs) At the moment I thought about until death do us part. And this is it, but they were really emotional moments and I handled them with difficulty.
This was before a new visitor came to Kosovo and it was the most dangerous until now. That’s it, this is the pandemic that alienated, alienated, changed, and alienated the daily life of every person alive in Kosovo. I think, after many attempts to raise the awareness of the people, a good level [of awareness] was achieved. Not that the politicians did it, but the citizens amongst each other.
Because it’s shameful for a famous singer to come out with a statement that… whom we consider a responsible person because he’s also a member of the assembly, is he still? I don’t know. But he was at least an MP. But, however, he has a name and allows himself to say, “There is no [virus].” He could have said “I personally don’t have it. But I’m not totally sure.” Just like me today, I am not sure if I have it or not. Neither are you two.
So, when uncertainty begins to take over a place, that place becomes sensitive. I pray to God that the young generations will find their way and understand that we are facing big changes, for which we, the older people, are not prepared. But, we won’t have the opportunity to prepare because it goes beyond our knowledge, our mental capacity. But the young people should understand as soon as possible. The life that expects you and all the young people after will never be the same as it was.
So, adapting is very necessary and young people should learn a lot, a lot. To learn foreign languages, that is the first and the most important, everything comes after. Because through language you will be able to go into the virtual world, into the world of technology because that is the future. So, you are the Alpha [generation]. Do you know about this division of generations?
Anita Susuri: Yes I know, according to how the Americans have divided it.
Greta Kaçinari: And it’s very interesting. Not only Americans, Russians and Europeans have done it too, everyone, very interesting. But everyone is there, at approximately the same level. I know you as the Alpha Generation [sepaks in English], as a generation of alpha or Z, you could be Z, because you were born…
Anita Susuri: During the ‘90s.
Greta Kaçinari: Yes. But the Gen Zee includes a little until 2010 I think and then comes Alpha. And Alpha is the first letter in the Greek alphabet. Alpha is used [to refer to] a new beginning, Alpha is something that flourishes, something new. That’s why, it was my pleasure to have you in my apartment and even a bigger pleasure that you’re both girls, you’re women and you’re working on very interesting and important work. Don’t forget that the histories you have, the ones you have finished so far, stories of people who have lived or live in a certain period of time, to upload them somewhere where a virus can’t harm them.
Anita Susuri: Thanks a lot Mrs. Greta.
Greta Kaçinari: Thank you, both of you.