Part Four
[The video interview was cut]
Then, our group went to… by our group I mean Myrvete, Adem, Brahim, Lul and I, that was the constituent group, how to say. We were… we took various tasks and were reached to other regions of Kosovo. And we, the small group of initiators, went to Rahovec at that time, met people, of course those were people we had met in our rreth until the whole nation was involved. In the Action there were mainly friends and families of former political prisoners, because you had trust [in them] and trust was an important precondition. And then from there we activated other friends, and I remember that Rahovec was the first, then the next stop was Prizren as well. Then it was extended to Drenica, in Kosovo, Akilja joined, he was an important person for Fushë Kosova and the Prishtina rreth, there was Rrahman Dini. He was… many intellectuals, a whole list of people who were aware and engaged needs to be written… they mobilized and the number increased relatively fast… it became a high number of participants. And the idea as such was, it was not endangered anymore because it had enough reach and then we continued the principle, the working groups, the preparation of bloods reconciliation, the blood forgiving in a ceremony, and these ceremonies then became a kind of… a kind of meeting where people who hadn’t forgiven the blood before came to forgive it as well.
And, the climax of this gatherings was the gathering on May 1 at Verrat e LLukës, where probably they are right when they say that there were half million people gathered. And us… the planned number of reconciliations that were to be done that day was much lower than the number of the bloods that were reconciled then. Where people started feeling morally obliged to do something and it was an extraordinary gathering and I have never seen and experienced the people of Kosovo more convinced of their own strength than that day, even though we were surrounded by military forces, police with bulletproof vests, all that space. There was a big danger of escalation, but people were more disciplined than ever before, more certain of themselves than ever before, more dignified in their forgiveness of blood than ever before. It is a moment I don’t forget, and of course it is not the only one, but it is the climax of these, how to say, great ceremonies of the forgiveness of blood.
Erëmirë Krasniqi: What were the speeches you wrote and what topics were they about?
Hava Shala: Let me say something, I’ve said it before as well and I will say it now, we… the former political prisoners always travelled, we travelled with a small unsafe feeling that if we go out, we will either go back to our homes again or we will go where we started. We were not sure we wouldn’t get arrested on the road, that is why we always needed someone to look after us, not to carry things with us, especially notes, because it would always be a reason in our situation to be charged, in case we were arrested. And this is the reason why I feel bad, but unfortunately some friends and I had no chance to keep precise data about this. But I almost precisely know what the topics were about.
We had… first we organized these ceremonies in a planned way, for example in Rugova, in the village of Rugova, municipality of Has, in other places, not to count them, we planned them because our aim was to raise people’s awareness, and at the same time to somehow mobilize the inner human world at that time. Then those ceremonies were turned into an appeal, into a log [sic] where people showed their burrëri. For example, it was planned at Verrat e Llukës, there were certain cases we had prepared. There were the calls, they were actually oral, we never did written calls, but people came, women, men, elders, youth, children, families came. Incredible, incredible!
I think that the Action brought with itself a higher civilization. There are many dimensions and of course various people talked about various aspects and dimensions of the Action, but I think that the man of the oda and the woman of the house, there… we got over that limit, I mean, our limit, men had created a pretty difficult limit for themselves in the men’s oda. Women had a limit which by time… I give myself the right to even call it self-limit, first women considered normal staying at home. And one who stays home all the time does no longer believe that their own forces can push them forward. Those women, those men, those people got out of the oda, they got out of the house, they saw, they heard, they saw a great force that one can overcome themselves, and of course one can also overcome the limit of the enemy then. And this force, this emancipation remains in my memory and of course remains in the people’s memory as well.
Then often during the wartime, when I saw women on television or… during various translations, when I translated for women who came only with their children to the hills, to the… minefields, to difficult areas. But they came and they were determined, I said, maybe it was a challenge at that time, as if women tried their own force which then they realized, how to say, they carried it with themselves in the wartime. I think, this was a kind of challenge, how to say, for oneself.
Maybe at this point it is important to say something, something special. At the time, when entering the men’s oda, men more or less saw that the rigid world of oda started moving. And not rarely, when it came very near the taking of a “Yes,” that the blood was being forgiven, it felt like there was a fear among men that they might be losing the order of the men’s oda, as if, as if it was a kind [of situation] when one is afraid to even move, they don’t know what is going to happen after. In other words, there were cases where men said, “Let us see until next week.” For example, in one case, in the village of Isniq, one said, “The reconciliation is almost done,” or “The word of reconciliation was given.” And the men then said, the men of the oda said that, “Even if we forgive it, it is possible that the wife of the victim and his children might not agree and might break our word, our besa.” And, I remember that I was sitting near Myrvete and… also [German: so] in other words, in the middle of Myrvete and professor Anton Çetta, and I quietly asked professor Anton, “Dare Myrvete and I go to the wife, if that’s that important for them?” And it was important to us as well, but this was the first time men had started to avoid a little the order of oda and we didn’t know whether it was the men’s fear that they were going against oda, or it was just an excuse not to give the last positive word. And he said, “Men, we have two burrnesha, two students,” just as professor Anton knew how to say it best. He said, “We would like to make it easier for you, we would like to send them to talk to the women in order for you not to carry that burden with the wife of the victim.”
And we went there for the first time, we went… it still was before the gathering at Verrat e Llukës. And we went to the wife, whose mother-in-law walked around, she was worried, in the end of the day she was the mother of the son she had lost, and we asked her then. I said that, “Men sent us here,” in fact we made a word play because men didn’t send us to talk only to the wife and exclude the mother-in-law, the conversation was very detailed. But we said that we needed to talk alone. Of course she didn’t feel very good about it, but she didn’t say anything, she was polite and we remained alone. And we confronted the woman.
Erëmirë Krasniqi: What did you say?
Hava Shala: We said that, “Men agree but they are worried that you might not agree and when your sons grow up they might [take revenge], if their mother doesn’t agree, then it’s a semi-reconciliation.” And we did a semi-movement with the words and she said, “No, I don’t want to leave my children in enmity. My children are little, if men said that, and today something is being done for the future of our children,” because we talked a little about another kind of future for Kosovo and the future of her children and of every children of Kosovo, she said, “Then on my part, I give my word just like the men there.” (smiles).
We went and said that, “She gave her word and she doesn’t dispute your response,” it was a kind of diplomacy. But then for our surprise they didn’t say the “Yes” we were hoping they would. And professor Anton said that, “We have a new situation, please think until next time, and next time we hope you give a burrnore answer.” And the next time they came to Verrat e Llukës and forgave the blood. Just a case, in order to illustrate it.
Another case to illustrate when the role of the woman was considered and the overcoming of limits or such status which we often drew for ourselves whether because of social and political circumstances. We had one case in the village of Morina, we went together with Musa, Musa Berisha, one of our best friends, an activist of the first gathering. And we had to climb pretty high, it was hard to go there, but both of us went. And the old man said, “You don’t need to talk to me. I am convinced that bloods need to be forgiven, but he is the brother of my wife, it isn’t up to me, not according to the Kanun nor to the law, to forgive or not forgive the blood of my wife’s brother. But my wife is,” he said, “in her room,” he followed me there, he said, “And to be honest, she is sick since she found out that you are here.” I went inside and she really was laying on the bed and she was tired, sad. I said that I came, she said, “Yes, I know, my daughter told me as well,” her daughter was working and that day she was at school, she worked as a teacher.
And I said some words to her, I felt sorry, she was tired as well as sad, she was more sick of being sad than actually sick. But it was clear to me that I had to talk differently to her and she said, I suddenly started to make a digression from the topic, and she said, “How was the road?” She said, “Because these evils are ambushing most of the people,” in the sense that they make the journey difficult. I said, “They have their own business and we have ours.” She said, “Yes. But it is difficult for me because I also have the other sister, we only had one hasret brother and now it is closed,” they were from the Deçan rreth, “And our gjinia is closed, to us there is nothing more tragic, you know it yourself what a daughter without a gjini means.” And I said, “Yes of course I know, that is why we are here, knowing that it is something hard, because if things were easy, then there would be no need for us to come.” But I said, “I want to ask you a question to which I want your heartfelt answer.” I said, “If your brother was alive today, for one moment, if I could give him my soul and make it possible for him to give me an answer. And if I asked him today, ‘Would he rather forgive his own blood on behalf of this country’s future, or leave the blood unforgiven and remain not honored?’ How can bloods remain unforgiven and not honored today?” And she…{puts her hand on her cheek} I remember, she abruptly stood from her bed, she actually sat and, “Ah,” she said, “You’ve gotten me in a difficult position,” she said, “But I swear to God, he was a brave man, he was very skilfull.” I get chills even now when I remember that conversation. And she said, “I am sure he would forgive his own blood.” And there was a piece of silence between us, and she said, “See my daughter, go. Take your friend and go to your house. I will talk to my sister. My daughter told me, ‘When I arrive home, I want to hear something good from you,’” her daughter, the teacher. She said, “This case is finished.” And she went out and followed us to the yard, she greeted Musa and me, the one who was sick suddenly became stronger (smiles). And her daughter came from Morina and forgave the blood at Verrat e LLukës.
There are many many cases to illustrate this, but it is these cases where I saw that the people have strength to overcome their limits, as I said, being a man or being only the men’s oda or simply being a man or being a girl. I mean, the self-limit of the people was overcome from every side and it became a very great power which then overcame the geographical borders of Kosovo or, better said, the political borders of Kosovo. Then the Action grew in Albanian lands, in Macedonia as well as in Preshevo and Bujanovc. We had friends all around. In Montenegro as well, there was the very distinctive case of a family there, not an assimilated family but one who held the flag at the bottom of the crate. Each case was an illustrative case and each one for the same thing. People realized that the goal was not personal, not individual, not self-interest, but it was simply the future which needed to be different than what we were experiencing at that time.
Erëmirë Krasniqi: What was said about blood feuds in the oda, that it is… strange, that for some time it was thought that it is either strange or it was left to us from…
Hava Shala: This was said more by the people who had educated minds, and it was good that it was said. But let me say it honestly, I’ve heard this from those who were inside the problem, a feud wasn’t called strange. It was said that blood feuds were strange, but I personally don’t think that blood feuds are strange. Blood feuds are strange in the sense that many circumstances were created for people to kill each other. For example, there were many properties that were not precisely set, which was my property and which was yours? The regime of that time had undoubtedly created enough circumstances, I was very convinced that they were, the circumstances were very hostile. The circumstances were created at the moment one killed oneself, because of lack of law and justice. At that time there were murders in Western Europe as well, I read various kanun then, people were murdered in England as well as in France and Germany in medieval times, when laws weren’t functioning yet, like civil laws did at the time of civilized Europe. I mean, a murder happens t where there’s lack of justice, there where justice is not justice, it is not equal for the weak, for the strong, for the rich, for the poor.
But, that was said and maybe the time was such that it wanted it to be said. I didn’t say it like that, I said that we are all obliged to do something, To me this is painful, it is important to emphasize the fact that we, who went inside, the fact that we told the person, “We understand your pain, I totally walk in your shoes, I am totally ready to walk in your shoes, even though it is maybe impossible to feel the pain of the other.” Solidarity, solidarity for pain played a very important role. I have to say it that one felt understood, you knew their pain, you carried that person with you, you gave them strength, you lifted them over their pain and said, “Pain is understandable, it can be healed, it can get easier, it can take a whole new sense if we do something against further murders, and I have the strength to do such a burrëni.”
And the motto that was very important is, “Only those who are men, who are strong, who are human have the strength to do such a magnificent act.” Not the people, it was said in a way, not directly, it was said, those who are men, men not in the sense of gender, but men in the first meaning of men of the oda – people with character, people with morals, people with great awareness, people who were ready to sacrifice, patriotic people, that’s what we called men. They were the ones who extended the reconciliation hand as well.
I remember once at one place, I don’t want to name the village, even though I said it openly once. We talked, talked, talked, talked and the man said, “No! I don’t forgive it!” And professor Anton, I never forget it, said, “ I understand that you don’t forgive it,” and he said, “Eh, so,” in the sense that he felt relieved to be understood. He said, “I understand that you cannot forgive it, because it takes a big burrëni to forgive it today.” And then he shut his mouth then he didn’t… discuss it anymore, he realized what it was. And he didn’t go further, and left a message to him, I mean, “You will only forgive the blood if you have strength, if you have burrëni,” whose meaning I explained in my way. In other words, it was clear who would forgive the blood. Unforgiving the blood at that time, in those circumstance, was a kind of egoism to me and many others, even though I understand people’s pain, but you went out and were murdered in the street and had no one to avenge you from the police, the military forces, you were arrested, you were tortured, you… you came to the edge of your life and who would avenge you?
The only revenge was fighting for a dignified life. People who had no strength to forgive the blood, had a big problem with themselves, they had a problem with themselves, they had no power. What reason for? Each case can be looked at, but however, in general, most people showed strength and did an extraordinary burrëni, a burrëni that overcame a lot, the burrëni defined above as the [quality] of the men of the oda.
Erëmirë Krasniqi: When the Action began, you spread in other Albanian speaking areas. Did you go there?
Hava Shala: Yes, we went. For example, we divided, not in a strict way but it was implied that someone will go to Montenegro, someone to Macedonia, Someone to Presevo and someone to Bujanovc, someone will go to this area, someone….Depending on the difficult cases or the initiative, there was a need for somebody with experience and somebody who was honored in… I remember in Malësia e Gollakut, we went there once with Akile Dedinca, Rrahman Dini and another friend who was better known by Akilja, I am sorry but I don’t remember her name. Rrahman Dini died right after the war, he participated in the war. He was an amazing person, a person without a political bias, without a party, without… simply a patriotic person. We went to Gollak, to one village of Gollak. And, and there was… we left the car down and went up there and discussed and the welcome of the man of that house was very interesting.
He said, “Welcome, because you never struck to the point more than today.” And we started the ceremonies, “How are you, how’s everything going?” And he said, “You don’t need to tell me who you are, I know who you are.” He said, “And let me tell you something. You’ve come at the right time. Not that the other men who came before to my oda weren’t good,” but, “There were either good men at bad times or bad men at good times.” He said, “And none of them matched, they didn’t find the right moment. You came,” he said, “Good people at the right time.” I will never forget it! It was something, an extraordinary formulation. And we talked and brought the case closer [to a resolution]. Of course no case was reconciled the first time, but you could somehow know from the very first time, because as the saying goes, “A good day is seen in the morning.”
Then he followed us downstairs, outside and he had… we were, I have to say something. In most cases, for one year in a row, we were mostly hungry and thirsty. I have to openly say this, to tell it, to illustrate it with this case in Gollak. When we went out, he said that his goats were in the mountains and just for the sake of conversation, I said, “You have good goats.” I said, “Do you ferment the cheese with or without thickened cream?” And he said, “How do you know…” No {corrects herself} “Do you sell cheese with or without thickened cream?” He said, “How come you know about goats?” I said, “When I was little, I grew up among goats. I didn’t like them that much, but we sold the cheese, while we ate the one without thickened cream at home.” I said it jokingly, even though it was the truth. Life in big families wasn’t always the way it seemed. And he said, “Ha, you know what cheese with cream is?” I said, “Yes, we ate it sometimes, but it was sold.” And he said, “Wait a bit.” And he called his wife by her name and said, “My wife has put the bread in qerep, and they are warm. You aren’t going anywhere without taking a piece of warm bread with the cheese with cream, because I don’t sell all the uncreamed cheese.” And he didn’t allow us to go and went to cut a big loaf of bread in four pieces, there were four of us. And he had put one big piece of uncreamed cheese, the uncreamed cheese is the one out of which they don’t take the cream, it’s good, it’s delicious.
And we ate the bread there and walked further, Rrahmani, may peace be upon him said, “Even if you have never received anything good from your goats, today we did.” (smiles). That day we ate after a very long time, and we were often hungry and thirsty, but at times, people gave us something to eat when we passed by their villages. Or they cooked, as at Verrat e Llukës, where the whole village volunteered to cooked, or they simply heard that we were there, for example in Istog. People waited for us with pita, with the things they had… everybody contributed in their own way. But I remember, it was not rare that we were without eating or drinking. Especially because of the curfew, which started at eight o’clock, you either had the chance to go to someone’s to eat dinner or return home, it was pretty difficult. And this was a fact.
Erëmirë Krasniqi: What reason for, I mean where did they find the motivation to forgive the blood, since they were not living in Kosovo under the pressure of Serbia? What was their motivation?
Hava Shala: You are talking about people outside Kosovo?
Erëmirë Krasniqi: Yes.
Hava Shala: There was the feeling, the nation was, the nation was compact, there was the patriotic feeling, that love for the nation, the feeling that we need to be united, we are united, but we were unfairly divided. It was often said in various contexts that a nation is a river, when it moves, it moves as a whole, you cannot say, “Let this part aside.” And this is how the nation was, the part of the Albanian nation at that time still within Yugoslavia.
Erëmirë Krasniqi: How was the Action for Blood Feuds Reconciliations concluded?
Hava Shala: In fact, we thought that the Action of Blood Feuds Reconciliation would last for one year with the consequence of creating a new awareness, with the consequence of giving a clear message, no more blood feuds. In order to create another kind of culture that would address problems through negotiation, we didn’t simply go for the blood [feud]. We talked about many other things, we talked about life, shortages, opportunities. It was a much more complete action than… there were places where we went for the forgiveness of blood and we exclusively talked about the blood, we talked about the future, we talked about the current political circumstances, about the limits, about the injustice, about the new opportunities our nation would have once it got free, our opportunities as a nation, our skills, a peaceful life.
We observed, we often confronted ourselves and the people we talked to with the lack of opportunities we have and with the opportunities we would have through strengthening our opportunities, we don’t lack anything, there is nothing we have less than the other nations, it’s the circumstances that made us different. Lack of education is a consequence of circumstances, for example. Otherwise, we are the same as every other nation. I mean, in one way we increased the self-confidence of the person we talked to and… we encouraged a new awareness of ourselves for today and the future. That is why I called it a very emancipatory movement, and by emancipatory I don’t simply think about women, but men as well, I think about [emancipation] in general.
Erëmirë Krasniqi: How… what happened with the participation of all the citizens? Did it come… when was the Blood Feuds Reconciliation concluded, was any immediate change seen, any easement?
Hava Shala: The Action didn’t end abruptly. For example, how to say, the Action started on August 2, ‘90, it started on August 2, ‘91. The Action didn’t end abruptly and the other phase, which is always called problematic, especially in the Balkans, began, the political side, the political dimension of the Action for Blood Feuds Reconciliations. And I remember that it was exactly then where it began to go a little overboard, I don’t want to say that no good job was done any longer. Every blood feud reconciliation has the same value as each reconciliation that was done during that time, but they started, “It was me,” “It was you,” “It was the party,” “It was not the party,” “It was this,” “It was that.” As a person I was under pressure to declare that this was made with the initiative of this party and the other party was against it, and I said, “No.” It was absolutely not true that the Action was initiated by a party.
We were, I wasn’t [a member] of any party after prison. I simply had my own political opinion, I felt limited in various political parties, in the end of the day it’s everyone’s right to feel like that. But the others weren’t at all in various parties and who was where is absolutely a personal issue. But I was convinced, and it was true, that the Action was not a property or a terminant of any political party, absolutely. It was simply a movement of the whole nation, of all the people with diverse political opinions, with diverse political parties, or without any political party. The church and the mosque were part of it, aware people, people who loved, who loved the free human in this country and the freedom of this country.
That is why I cannot allow myself to say that this or that had more or less. Each of us did their maximum and that maximum is what makes us all equal. If there was nothing more I could do, while the other maybe did something less than I, but that was their maximum, that’s the same to me. They gave their own maximum just like I gave my own maximum. Then I left Kosovo in August, ‘91 and I know that the meetings started being held at that time. Of course that the aim was to organize things, facts were needed, I understand those things, but I had the impression that there was a political class in which tendencies, anger and greed were reflected. It was not the dominant factor, but more or less there was a mix. It was something parallel to the action itself. I heard later, I didn’t witness further reconciliations, but there were always people, certain groups who helped, who had influence.
There still were of course, of course a human act was done, I was convinced, I was convinced that the message was clear. The Movement was pure and there is no need to return… even minimally, a kind of tendency to personalize the Action or to attribute it to yourself or anyone else. I was and still am convinced that the Action had an inclusive character, it played its extraordinary role in mobilizing people, in raising people’s awareness, in emancipating people, I still have this help, I had it back then as well.
Erëmirë Krasniqi: Were there activists among you who were persecuted? Could you tell us something about this aspect?
Hava Shala: Hmm, Nurie Zeka is actually my paternal aunt’s daughter. I’ve known Naser Veliu so little, if I am not mistaken I have met him once, I am not very certain about it, I have… if I am not mistaken I have met him once in Peja, but it doesn’t matter. She, they left, respectively they had travelled to Switzerland together with Naser Veliu’s car. And at that time, the time of the Action for Blood Feuds Reconciliations is like a house with many alcoves. And besides the big alcove, the so-called Action for Blood Feuds Reconciliations, there were other alcoves, many movements that took place within the movement of that time.
And one of those movements was the engagement of the people to research, to define the situation… which was current at that time with the poisoning, the poisoning of the students and pupils. It was a chapter within the big chapter. And as far as I know, Nurie had some data from a hospital or from various hospital of various tests of some students or poisoned people. And they left with the hope that those tests could be checked better in Switzerland and they would find out more about it, because someone in Belgrade called it a hysteria. It was said, it was written, it was said, it was heard that their accident was deliberate. To me Nurija was important, no matter how the accident was, I know so little about Naser. About Nuria, she was a member of the Action for Blood Feuds Reconciliation. She left for Switzerland and for her brother’s and had those things I told you about with herself, with the desire, the hope that she could find out something more about those things. This is all I know and all I can say.
But of course, no matter if it is Nurie, Hava or Ilirja or whoever with whatever name. If you were persecuted, if you were an activist of the national cause at that time, you were arrested, in fact you were dangerous. It didn’t take much to be defined as dangerous by the police and other institutions.
Erëmirë Krasniqi: Did the reason why you emigrated then have anything to do with this?
Hava Shala: Yes, among others. The faculty was closed in June, I passed my last exam at that time, it was Folk Literature and it was prohibited, everybody knows. In the meantime other arrests started, Myrvete had already been arrested before. Then my husband, because I was engaged at that time, was teaching at the Shtjefën Gjeqovi School, partly at the school of… the Metallurgical and Mining Faculty in Pristina, and there he received the call. At that time collective calls were being received… the mass calls for the military service and the time was very difficult. And for some time we thought about leaving just like all the temporary and permanent immigrants. And we left in August, after getting illegally married in the village of Baran on Saturday, hiding because we didn’t have the opportunities to move freely in a legal way. We had already set a date for the wedding two months later, but everything went in a different direction. That was the reason, the others came after.
It was a disappointment, a disappointment because of the political circumstances. I had the opinion that politics, of course passive politics had….Each person has a role and could do something good, no matter where they are. And each party of that time of course had good intentions and did something good as well as every politician who put themselves in danger by saying something, doing something, organizing in whatever way, of course they did.
I was not convinced that something could be done in a passive way. To be honest, I wasn’t, I was more or less disappointed, not from a person but from the circumstances in general. People received mass calls for military service, it was not an accident. The tendency was to execute all the men. We were badly organized, badly organized in my opinion. It was kind of a disappointment to be honest. That was a factor as well. The closing of the faculty as well as… I was not very convinced that something could be done except with peaceful politics.
Erëmirë Krasniqi: How did you imagine it?
Hava Shala: For example, to me as a human it was difficult to see the mocking, the everyday persecution and do nothing about it, to go on the media and say something, of course that has its importance. And the big house had its representative, they chose a representative, they usually chose the smartest man, they sent him to represent the family in various occasions such as parties or mourning. In other words, Kosovo needed the people who did diplomacy, who spoke well, courageously as well. I absolutely don’t want to say that what I thought was the only way. People have various opportunities, but the limit, the limit of only one way was relatively narrow to me, in fact. I was convinced that people had to do something more. I was convinced, and as life showed later, that without being organized, back then I thought about a guerrilla movement that moves and doesn’t allow the police to move freely in the lands. Simply a movement, which combines a little politics and diplomacy but also…but also with the movement in everyday life.
For example, once I told a Swiss teacher, I had a lecture once for…I will make a little digression, for some Swiss teachers. When I said, “Kosovo was liberated in this year,” I said it spontaneously and it was implied for me, I said, “Gott sei Dank,” thank God, the Swiss teacher made a grimace I didn’t like. One… as if she wanted to say, “It does not have anything to do with me whether Kosovo is free or not, whether it was liberated or not.” But, I said… and she didn’t really say anything, but I couldn’t let it pass just like that, something bothered me. And I said, “Yes, I have to say it once again, because what I am saying is very important, Kosovo liberation, and it is important for the topic I am talking about today as well.” The topic was, “Collaboration with parents of different cultures – ways, empathy,” and so on.
I have a certification for intercultural communication in Switzerland. And I told her what I am telling you two now {addresses those who are present}, I told her, “Imagine if you came here today by bus from village X, by bus, and the police or the military forces of another country stopped you on the road. And, one of the policemen comes in and takes the oldest teacher among the others, let’s say 20-30 other people, and let’s imagine this is the driver, this man here is the driver. When the policeman comes in, he takes the driver of the bus you are all in. He turns his face to your side, slaps him, spits on his other cheek and says, ‘Sit!’, looks at us, laughs and says, ‘Drive!’” I said, “That is why this is important to me to say that other migrants who come here have another history. And the Albanian migrants until this time, have another history, that is why I am saying this.” In a way, I incorporated it within my topic.
And I will go back to your question now, to me it was unimaginable that the life of a human being be so limited that one could not even go to the market to sell, the farmer to sell a bag of beans or… the only way to exist or survive, or be spat on, be thrown away, be denigrated was to say, “To me it is enough even if I am the only one to show and give a political statement.” I am talking about myself, thank God people are not all the same, but I was convinced from the very beginning that other forces were needed, not against each other, but together with each other, or side by side. This was my impression and one of the deepest reasons why I left, disappointment was one of the first reasons why I left.
Erëmirë Krasniqi: How was your life in Switzerland then?
Hava Shala: Then we left as refugees. I have a very positive experience in the interview there, the policy was that you were interviewed twice or three times there. I was interviewed only once, very little just as much as I got to know them and two other times relatively long where… because of the lack of papers, the telling of the events in Kosovo had to be very detailed, of the danger, of the scale of danger for yourself. I told that, I told that while explaining the circumstances. Explaining the danger, explaining my personal past. It was trustworthy, they listened to me and it was used for verifying other declarations then. And two-three months later, three full months later, we were accepted as refugees then we made our life path there. I was not healthy, I had many problems with my feet, with my legs after the prison. So first I mostly dealt with my health.
My husband studied really fast, the pedagogic part of Math, because socialist pedagogy was not accepted there. And he started with translations relatively fast, on the other side I started working as an Albanian language and culture teacher for free, because of course the courses that were financed by the Yugoslav Embassies of that time weren’t financed anymore, it is understood. And we mobilized as migrants and worked for many years in a row, we worked for free or mainly for free. It was good for me, it was a fulfillment of myself in migration. Then later I became a mother and I wanted to do something else for my children, I wanted to challenge myself with another way of raising and educating them. And I studied how to lead playgroups. I worked for four years with children during the war, with traumatized people mainly, with trauma professionals and not only. I worked with pleasure, I love children very very very very much. Overall, I love humans in general.
Then, I realized that intercultural communication of our people with the institutions of Switzerland was not simple, it was not easy. People were afraid, people were worried, people were needy, people were… they came, for example from difficult circumstances in Kosovo and thought that it was implied that the Swiss know that in Kosovo it is difficult and they would understand. The Swiss cannot understand you if you don’t speak, what you say is part of you. Otherwise not, nothing is implied. And the institutions at the same time saw that people were coming, if you worked as the leader of playgroups, people came to bring their children but sometimes they even stayed there for one hour or two or even longer, with their papers, with various advices. And then the cultural center was… it was noticed that people were coming all the time.
And one day, a woman who was the leader of a professional center visited me, she was the leader of a bureau of the city of Winterthur which was called Fachstelle Für Integration Winterthur [The Winterthur Agency for Integration]. She said, “I hear, people come to you.” They had, in front of them there was a Serbian woman, but people didn’t go to her anymore, even though she was actually a good person. But people didn’t ask back then, the language itself, the name was a border itself. It was implied, and she told me, “We would like you to come and work as a part-time consultant for us.” And then I started there part-time, and I was generally always in demand and then I did some additional education on teaching heterogeneous classes because the teaching of various courses was integrated, it became an integrated part of the regular schools. To me the things that were done differently were very interesting. I always wanted something different.
And I did one year of school there, then I followed two modules for intercultural communication. And maybe this was the point where the communication in the Action for Blood Feuds Reconciliation helped me very, very, very, very much. I can undoubtedly say that it was a study of a special kind, I am convinced of what I am saying. It was an experience, it was a challenge, that was an exam to me. And maybe the others noticed that I was more active then. For some time I was as a family escort, then I did additional school as a teacher in heterogeneous classes. And with this qualification for intercultural communication I was qualified as a social pedagogue and of course that was a new opportunity for me. And I worked and still work with various institutions in cases where families face difficulties, children’s education is one of the topics, people have various obstacles. Families cannot find the right solutions, simply I still work 60 percent as a social pedagogue.
And, partly I work 20 percent as a consultant in the bureau of the city of Winterthur, it varies, 10-5, 15-20 more or less, the work I usually do voluntarily for people in need. For example, I write the papers for free or sometimes I go to translate for them for free, because there’s nothing but their soul that you can take from them. This element of the Action for Blood Feuds Reconciliation, where one realizes that money is not everything that can be called a benefit, it’s also a good feeling, it’s also one… the feeling of solidarity is the most powerful feeling for me, and I trust people so much. And I do this with pleasure, I will do it still, depending on the circumstances and my health. While my husband works as a Math teacher in… he was a political prisoner before for three years as well. And he works as a Math teacher in various gymnasium.
Erëmirë Krasniqi: Would you like to add anything else? I think that we can close it here.
Hava Shala: I’ve heard once that a friend of mine, the one who was highly ranked in politics, a friend and relative of mine, after my arrival in Switzerland, said, “You did it well, you finished your job, and now look after your life.” And that touched me very much, because it was not true. He thought that if one is away, then the homeland is away as well. It depends on what relation one creates with the homeland. It may look like a kind of self-praise, but I can say that there are over 200-300 vorträge [German: lectures] about Kosovo, reports, meeting with students, doctors, various institutions, where I talk about circumstances, human beings, the need that one has to be understood and supported. And still to this day, some days ago I was in the Pedagogy High School in Lucerne. And, my detachment is not… it is not a physical detachment and absolutely not a spiritual one to me. And when I scold my friends who are in politics, I criticize them, I do it because I love Kosovo.
Kosovo is not our property, I am afraid that, I am afraid that… I will not say this publicly, but I am afraid that a majority of the people, and the majority of them are my friends from the past, have forgotten the message we gave to others. And I am afraid that this Kosovo, which I hoped for, even if I didn’t survive to experience it myself, is not [what I hoped] at least for the youth, for the children, for the people of this country to be able to have a life with dignity. I am afraid that those, all of us hold a responsibility for the mess of nowadays Kosovo, which we didn’t dream like this. Further, my separation from Kosovo is not physical nor spiritual. Unfortunately, my connection to Kosovo is still a would, it is relation that has a wound in itself, because the people are still poor, because I am afraid that it is not well understood that the homeland has become the property of certain people. It hurts more than the time we thought that the foreigner took our land, us, the people, the future, the present. It is possible to change the past because it was implied to me, it was the foreigner who didn’t want our existence. My connection to Kosovo will of course last until, as the popular saying goes, to the grave (smiles). That’s what I wanted to say. I still love Kosovo. It’s still the Kosovo of my dreams, I am afraid to fully return to the Kosovo of today because I am afraid of being totally disappointed and I don’t want to be totally disappointed.
Erëmirë Krasniqi: Thank you very much!
Hava Shala: Thank you!
